you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize