i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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