Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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