respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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