Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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