Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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