please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
