Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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