Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
