I cannot find my penis.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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