just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
