I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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