when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize