seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
