he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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