k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
