Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
