if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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