I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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