my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
