i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize