so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
