hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
