Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
