so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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