How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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