you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize