who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You pole danced in your parka.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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