I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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