Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
