Me too!
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
