Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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