Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
do herpes really smell.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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