meet me or not, i'm out of control
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
