Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
