she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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