Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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