check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i need an iv and a liver transplant
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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