You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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