I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize