I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
