Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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