we have officially lost it.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
