remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
