we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
