plz talk dirty to me
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
