I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
