yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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