Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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