On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
