I smell stomach acid.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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