Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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