my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
