there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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