At least make sure they are 18
Why
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
North Korea, Best Korea!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Sext me about skeletons
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
