His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
