i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just found puke in my bra..
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
