So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
