nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
