Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
