who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
