It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
