I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
