Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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