theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
