I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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