yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
