He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
