saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
