Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
