we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
