I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
