omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
