go do what you do best...puke behind churches
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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