from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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